Metropolitan Market, put up your dukes
Although unassuming in shape, cost-effective, and green, the cucumber should be considered, at best, as an option among many for a variety of things. Salads, sandwiches, wraps..heck, even sushi. It can provide the crunch and refreshing blast that, I don't know..someone must really enjoy - perhaps even often.
That being said, I would like to personally tell the dumb motherfu@%er in charge of the sushi over there at Metro Market to stop fu@%ing putting god-damned cucumber in all the motherfu@%ing sushi rolls you prepare there by hand every god-damned day. Groundbreaking idea: substitute avocado, or just leave it out! If you must keep putting that sh!t in there, then don't be such a fu@%ing a$$hole when I, or anybody else asks you to make custom rolls in the future.
It looks neat to have your little booth setup so we can watch you chop up your cucumbers, but we might also expect something from you on occasion, being that you are so accessible.
Thank you.
Unassuming in shape?
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Yes, unassuming in shape. Why? Are you intimidated by the shape of a cucumber?
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Yeah, I have to agree that the perceived accessibility of that guy behind the counter causes a lot of frustration. I've nearly caused a scene on a few occasions after being told "no" or blatantly ignored. And although I don't share the kind of hatred you tend to have for cucumbers, having avocado substituted for that has always felt kinda cheap and wrong. For the way Met Market brands itself, I expect more from them.
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All I'm asking is that they make a couple with no cucumber here and there. It just doesn't seem like too much to ask. Especially if they don't want to be bothered! Put out better options and we'll leave you alone.
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Listen, I've got the pitchforks and the torches and apparently you've got the anger; shall I fly out tonight? I've got the perfect places for him to put all those unassumingly shaped cucumbers.
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